Beauty That Can Never Be Silenced
by swedegirl
Summary: Carol and Daryl have found each other again after Terminus. But can Carol handle having Daryl back in her life and will Daryl be able to handle the secrets Carol is keeping? Season 5 with a twist. Rated T for now.
1. Prologue

**Hi everyone! I haven't written any fanfiction for quite some time now, but I thought I'd make a go of it again, as I've had the idea for this fanfic swirling around in my head for a while. I'm a big Carol/Daryl-shipper and I know that the writers for the show probably won't be pairing them up romantically any time soon, but I'm still keeping my fingers crossed. At least I hope there'll be lots of Carol/Daryl-scenes when the show returns in February. In the meantime, maybe this story can entertain you. It's going to follow the timeline of season five, but I'm going to twist up the story quite a bit. Some events that took place on the show will stay the same, others won't. So here it is, enjoy! **

**And I of course don't own any of the characters or the original plot. **

**Prologue **

Carol felt bile rising in her throat as she stepped into the clearing. Fear mingled with excitement with each step she took. The leaves rustled on the ground and she saw his head snap round, his body tense and taut, ready to strike back at any given moment. Unable to read the look in his eye, she took a few more tentative steps, keeping her eyes trained on him. Carol could see the others in the periphery, but it was him she sought out; praying that he would be happy to see her, that he wouldn't reject her. She wouldn't blame him if he did. After everything that had happen during the past week and a half, after everything she'd done… who knew what he thought or how he would react.

Which is why Carol almost froze when Daryl started running. He barreled into her arms like a runaway freight train. It took her at least a whole second to regain her composure and close her own arms around his body. Quiet sobs wracked his body, as he pressed himself into her, lifting her up and causing them to stumble. His right hand wound in her hair and she heard him taking a long breath, his mouth on the side of her neck. She didn't know where to put her hands. She wished she could touch him all over. She wish they could stay like that forever, holding each other. They were pressed so close and it made her wonder… She heard him let out a small gasp and she closed her eyes. Had he felt it? Deciding it was time to break contact, she let go and took a step back.

Carol gave him a little smile and looked straight into Daryl's eyes. The emotions mingled in his blue orbs were of a kind that Carol had never seen before. There was so much pain and love and she wondered what he'd been through in that awful place she had just rescued him from. She could tell that there were things he wanted to say but just couldn't find the words and she understood that. It was all too much right now. Once again they had found each other, here at the end of the world. Daryl leaned his head forward into her chest and she heard him breath out her name, _Carol_. She took his head in her hands, trying to pour all of her love into that one touch. She thought that he knew what she was trying to say. At least she hoped that he did.

And then Rick was there, hugging her, thanking her and just like that her moment with Daryl was gone. The reality and seriousness of the situation hit her and as she began leading them back to Tyreese and Judith, fear set in once again. She'd gotten her wish, she'd got to see him again, but now what? Everything was such a mess and the secrets she carried were bigger than anything she ever had to carry before. What would Daryl do when he found out the truth? Carol smiled as she watched Rick and Carl reunited with Judith, and Sasha and Tyreese embrace. But the nausea that she'd suffered earlier that morning was on its way back up and there was only one thought running through her head. _What the hell was she going to do now_?


	2. Hiding

**I don't own any of the characters or the original plot. **

**1. Hiding**

Daryl almost couldn't believe it. He'd found her again. After everything that had gone down lately; learning of Carol's banishment, the fall of the prison, losing Beth, fuckin' Terminus… and she had saved them all, saved _him_. Of course, she'd been doing pretty well with the whole "saving him" thing long before they were forced out onto the road again. Not that he still wasn't messed up – he knew he was – but Carol had been helping him turn into the person that he was now. Since the people from Woodbury had moved in, things had started to change between him and Carol. Slowly, their relationship turned from one of pure friendship into something more. Being private persons, they decided to keep it to themselves for a while. They soon perfected the art of stealing kisses when no one was looking and embracing in dark corners of the prison. They'd even managed to make love a few times. It had been completely awkward and still the most wonderful feeling Daryl had ever experienced. He knew that this woman would always love him and that she'd continue helping him become an even better person. At least, he'd known that before. Now… now he wasn't so sure.

* * *

><p>He'd respected her wishes and hadn't pressed the issue when she'd said that she didn't want to talk about what had happened. He'd learned from Tyreese that Lizzie and Mika had been with them, and now they weren't, so it wasn't very hard to figure out <em>why<em> they weren't. Tyreese had also asked him if he knew about Karen and David; if Rick had told him about them and Carol. Daryl had tensed up and nodded, worried about what Tyreese might say.

"It's fine. Me and Carol, we're okay", he'd offered and Daryl had let out a sigh of relief. He wasn't going to hurt her. One less thing to worry about.

Still, there were plenty of other things that did bother him. Like the fact that they hadn't really spoken since their reunion after Terminus. She'd barely touched him since their embrace in the clearing. And whenever he sought out her eyes, she looked away, directing her eyes at anything but him. He didn't get it. He thought she'd been happy about finding him again. Fuck knows he was happy to see her. When she stepped out from behind those trees he'd lost his breath completely. There was nothing but her and he knew that him running towards her like that was very un-Daryl and might cause suspicion from the group, but damn it all, he'd _missed_ her. Because you _love_ her, a tiny voice inside of him quipped. Yeah, what about it, he thought. I do love her, but maybe I don't want anyone else to know that yet. Maybe I want it to be just the two of us, for a little while yet. No prying eyes or nosy questions. So he hadn't kissed her, but hell if he hadn't wanted to. Instead he'd tried to put all of his feelings into the hug. When she'd pulled back, and looked at him, she'd seemed so sad. He could see love in there, no doubt about it, and happiness at having him back. But beneath all of that, there was a deep sadness reminding him of when they'd lost Sophia. So he'd let his head fall back onto her and whispered her name, just to let her know that he was there. That he'd _always_ be there. The question was, would she?

* * *

><p>This morning, Carol had still been sleeping when he woke up, so he'd gone out to do some hunting. He'd bagged a few squirrels and a rabbit, which was something at least. He was coming back from his hunt, closing in on their campsite when he'd heard a noise. Stopping to listen he recognized it almost immediately. Someone was throwing up. He knew it wasn't really his business and started to walk away when he heard it; a sob. A sob that belonged to Carol. So he moved closer to the heaving sounds and soon came upon his woman, crouched on the ground, holding on to a large rock as she heaved. No one had had very much to eat recently, so there wasn't much coming out, but she couldn't seem to stop. He knew she might not have heard him coming so he stopped a few paces away from her and spoke to her in a gentle voice.<p>

"Carol, ya alright?"

Carol gasped and turned her head. Daryl thought that she looked like a deer caught in the headlights. There was that sad look again, but more than that she seemed afraid.

"Daryl, you scared me. I'm fine, just hungry and I guess my stomach couldn't handle being without food for so long. But I see you've fixed that". She nodded at the dead animal slung over Daryl's shoulder.

"Yeah, not much but it's somethin'" he said, still eyeing her suspiciously. He didn't buy her explanation at all and he could tell that she knew that. "Ya sure ya're okay?".

"Yes, Daryl, I'm fine".

"Ya'd tell me if ya were sick or somethin', wouldn't ya?".

"I would, but I'm not. Come on, let's get back to camp and cook up some of those squirrels".

She rose from her spot in the leaves and took the animals from him. Then she started walking back to camp without another word to him. Daryl watched her retreating form and decided that he was going to keep a close eye on her from now on. Something wasn't right with her and he was sure as hell going to find out what it was she was hiding.


	3. Shy away

**I don't own any of the characters or the original plot. **

**2. Shy away**

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><p>Carol's POV:<p>

He'd told her that they get to start over. That _she_ can start over. She really wants to. There's nothing she wants more than to do that. To get a clean fresh start with him, it would be wonderful. But she knows it's nothing more than a dream. She's dust in the wind and everything that she touches crumbles and shatters and dies. Carol doesn't want that happening to him. She knows it's not fair to him, for her to shy away like this but their reunion after Terminus was an eye opener. She can't love him. She can't let him love her and have him stay safe. After Karen and David, after what happened with the girls… after _Sophia_… she knows now that she doesn't get to be happy. Being with Daryl makes her happy, she knows it makes him happy. But eventually, it will all fall apart, just like everything else. Finding the car makes her mind even more made up. She has to go. She has to, to save him. And he can't find out. This morning was too close a call. She makes a mental note to slip away tonight, when everyone's relaxed and caught off guard. Hopefully he will be to.

* * *

><p>Daryl's POV:<p>

Yeah, he'd told her that they get to start over. That she can. He can tell that she doesn't believe him. Like she's stopped trying to believe in anything. And it scares him. It makes his blood turn cold. He'd watched her go over the car, checking it and he watches her every move and expression. She doesn't know that he can read her this well. She doesn't know that she wrinkles her forehead every time she steels herself for something. Or that her eyes flicker to the left every time she says something she doesn't mean. He knows this, because he's always watching her and after this, after this morning, he'll be watching her even closer.

He seeks Tyreese out when they return. After asking Michonne to keep an eye on Carol, he asks where Tyreese is and finds out that he's on watch out back behind the church. He looks surprised to see him but nods and greets him.

"Daryl, what can I do for you?"

"Need to ask you something, 'bout Carol".

"Don't know if I can give any answers, but I'll at least listen to your question".

Daryl chews the side of his thumb, thinking hard about how he should put his question. Dropping his thumb, he sighs. "Look, I get that something bad happened with the girls and I'm not going to ask about it. But did something else happen out there?"

Tyreese's eyes glimmer with sadness at the mention of the girls and nods his head.

"Yeah, it was bad alright. But other than that, nothing else happened. Why do you want to know?"

"It's just… she was so happy to see me at first and now she's really distant. It's like she's checked out and I can't seem to reach her. Found her in the forest this morning, throwing up her guts. Ya know anythin' 'bout that?"

Tyreese looks at him for a second, contemplating his answer it seems.

"I might, but that's for Carol to tell and not me".

"I already asked her, wanted to know if she's sick, she told me no. Did she lie to me?"

"No".

"Then what the hell is wrong with her?!" Daryl yells. Tyreese keeps looking at him, completely calm. Looking around him, then at Daryl, he lowers his voice.

"Look, she's not sick. And like I said, it's not my business to tell you about it. But –" he stops Daryl as he's about to protest – "whatever is wrong with Carol, with her throwing up, is something that only concerns her and you".

Daryl stares at the man in front of him. "The fuck does that mean?"

"Think about it. The reason she is throwing up is nobody's business but yours and Carol's. That's all I'm going to say about it".

Daryl keeps staring at him for a minute, then shakes his head and starts walking away. And just as he turns something in his brain clicks and he remembers something from his and Carol's embrace yesterday. Something that had seemed out of place, but not important enough to ask about or even worry about. But now he realized that it was very important indeed. And he realized something else; Carol was going to run. "Hell no! Not if I have somethin' ta say 'bout it!"


	4. Chasing

**Disclaimer: Still don't own anything involving TWD.**

**I'm trying to keep my story canon with season five. However, the plot will differ considerably from the one of the show. I'm using the odd line from the show here and there in the dialogue. As I don't have access to the show, my memory might not be 100 percent accurate as to what words were used. I hope you can overlook any errors that might occur where the borrowed dialogue from the show is concerned. **

**Also, thank you for the reviews and I'm quite excited that my story has ten followers so far. Hope I can keep the interest up. Now, on with the story.**

**3. Chasing**

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><p>Daryl's POV:<p>

Did she really think he wouldn't notice her leaving? Oh, she was real stealthy about it. No one else noticed her deliberate spot in the corner nearest the door. And when everybody were relaxed and minding their own business; that's when she made her move. She'd slipped out so quietly, capitalizing on the other's moment of relaxation. Daryl had seen a streak of sadness cross her features as she took one last quick look over her shoulder, and then she slipped through the door and let it slide closed behind her.

He let her get a couple of minutes head start, knowing full well where she was heading and that he'd catch up with her easily. What he couldn't wrap his head around was why. _Why_ was she running? It couldn't just be about what happened at the prison. Maybe it was him. Maybe she didn't feel the way about him that he'd thought? But then why had she hugged him so tightly when they had reunited the day before? The love he'd seen in her eyes was real; nothing fake about it. As he stepped purposefully through the trees, he thought that it must have something to do with what happened with the girls. That, and about the other secret he knew she was trying so damn hard to hide from him. He couldn't quite figure out the reason for that either. But as soon as he caught up with her, Daryl was going to demand some answers.

When Daryl reaches the car, he can spot Carol in the dim moonlight. She's checking the car over, seemingly debating with herself whether to take it or not. Deciding she's not going to get the chance to make that choice, he steps out from the trees.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

Carol just stares at him, fear written all over her face. Releasing a breath, she give a little shake with her head and says: "I don't know".

"Yeah?" Daryl asks. "Well, I know exactly…" Out of nowhere, a car rushes by out on the road. A car Daryl's seen before. Without a second thought, he starts bashing out the taillights on their own car. Confusion is written all over Carol's face. Daryl moves around the car with impressive speed and as he yanks the door on the driver's side open, he yells to Carol: "Come on! They've got Beth!"

Carol only hesitates for a second, then she rushes forward and jumps into the car.

* * *

><p>Carol's POV:<p>

The silence inside the car is deafening. It's so quiet, she can hear her own heartbeat. She swears she can hear Daryl's heart beating to. So fast. He's agitated; his body strung tight. In the light from the moon, she can see his knuckles whitening against the steering wheel. The sudden possibility of finding Beth is of course a major cause of his current state. But mostly, she thinks, it's because of her. How stupid of her to think that he wouldn't come find her. He notices everything, of course he would have picked up on her behavior. Ever since that morning, when he caught her vomiting in the forest, he'd know something was up. She should have known that he'd watch her every move after that. Question was, how much did he know? Why had she even gotten in the car with him? She'd tried to get away from him and here she was, cooped up in a car chasing another car that might lead them to Beth.

Beth. She wondered what had happened between them when they'd been on the road together. Yesterday, when he'd hurdled himself into her arms, she'd felt so much pain coursing through his body. His entire being screamed with hurt and she couldn't help but think that somehow Beth was part of that. Did Carol think that something romantic had occurred between Daryl and the girl? No, she didn't. If there was one thing Carol knew about Daryl, it was that he did not love easily. Having professed his love for her, she knew that Daryl's heart belonged to her. But somehow, Beth had had an effect on the man. She'd learned from Maggie that Beth had been taken while they were fighting walkers. Memories of Sophia drifted into Carol's mind and the way Daryl had reacted after her own little girl had walked out of that barn. The angry words he'd thrown at her outside his tent, hadn't masked the pain on his face. The guilt. That's it! Carol thought she knew now why Daryl cared so much about getting Beth back. After the prison fell, he'd been responsible for Beth. And then he'd lost her. To his mind, he'd failed Beth. Getting the girl back to her sister would somehow rectify his mistake. Or so Carol thought.

Not wanting to address the elephant in the room (or the car really), Carol decided asking Daryl about Beth was the best way to break the silence.

"So, you were with Beth after the prison fell?"

Daryl glanced at Carol, then looked back to the car in front of him.

"Yeah. We were together for a while. It was alright. Holed up in a funeral home for a couple o' days. Then we were attacked by walkers and she got taken. Chased the car for half a day, but it was too late. She was just gone".

The look on his face told Carol that she was right; he did feel responsible for what had happened. She placed a hand on his right leg and gave a little squeeze.

"You did everything you could to get her back. I know you did. You're still doing it. Just like…" Like with Sophia, she had almost let slip, but stopped herself. There was no need to bring that up. But Daryl had caught on to what she'd begun to say. A low growl emitted through clenched teeth.

"Let's see who they are" indicating the car in front of them, "and then we'll do what we have to do to get her back".

Carol nodded and the two of them settled back into the uncomfortable silence. Carol felt it was a foreboding of things to come. Avoiding the real issue for the moment and focusing on the car up ahead would do for now. But eventually they would have to address what had happened back by the car; and some other things that Carol wasn't sure she'd ever be ready to talk about. Eventually, they would have to stop chasing shadows and face reality. However frightening it might be.


	5. Wimper

**Disclaimer: Still don't own anything involving TWD.**

**4. Wimper**

They had followed the mysterious car to the outskirts of Atlanta. It turned out it was being driven by policemen. They had stopped and one of them had disappeared for a while. Carol and Daryl had almost been caught when a walker had started beating on their car. Staying frozen, they managed to remain unseen by the policeman and he had stepped into his car and it had driven off. Carol and Daryl meant to follow, but their own car was now out of gas.

Looking around, Carol realized that she knew the area. Figuring that they needed to find a place to get some rest and wait for daylight, she told Daryl that she knew a place where they could stay. It was not without some trepidation that she led him there. It was a women's shelter, specialized for abused women and children. She'd gone there once, to get away from Ed. It was a weak attempt to get away from Ed, but an attempt none the less. If only she'd known then that underneath all the fear, a strong, proud woman lay in wait. Daryl had brought that out in her. And yet, just like that time all those years ago, Carol was once again controlled by fear. She knew that Daryl wasn't going to leave it alone. And once the secrets were out, there was no going back. The love Daryl had for her would surely not be enough; when he found out about the girls, it would all be over. As for the rest, well, she just couldn't be sure how he would react. Not well, she feared.

Entering the building was easy. It looks untouched. Everything is quiet and Carol thinks that it's a good place to stay in, despite the memories it holds. Daryl's sizing the place up and also seems to approve.

"You used to work here or somethin'?" he says.

"Or something" she replies quietly. 

* * *

><p>They set up in a room of bunk beds. Carol dumps her pack on the top one, then lays down on the bottom bunk, stretching out her back. It's aching and suddenly she feels really old. <em>Not that old<em>, she thinks to herself. Daryl sits down on the bed beside her. She can tell that he's tense. Chewing on the inside of his cheek makes her think he's worrying about something. Then the question she knew he'd ask.

"If I hadn't showed up before, out by the car, what would you have done?"

A small sigh escapes her. With hesitation (and knowing he'll spot the lie) she replies "I still don't know".

Lying down on his back next to her, his hand searches for hers. Silence… then – "That's bullshit Carol, and you know it" he says firmly.

Turning her head to look at him, expecting to look at the side of his head and instead staring into his blue eyes, unnerves her. His eyes are so full of emotion. "I…" she begins, when suddenly a loud banging noise breaks the silence. They leap up from the bed, weapons at the ready and move as one towards the commotion. Down the hall, behind a glass door, they can see the shadow of a person. A walker, clawing at the glass. Then, without warning, another, smaller, hand slams up against the surface. A gasp escapes Carol's throat. A child walker. Tears immediately start brimming in her eyes. Picking up her knife, she takes a purposeful step towards the door, when Daryl's hand shoots out and stops her. Looking at her, he says with a gentle voice "You don't have to". Carol looks at the door and tries to move, but Daryl's holding her back. "You don't" he says again. Letting the tears spill over, Carol shoves her knife back into its sheet and turns back to their room. Daryl gives the door one final look, sadness lining his features, and then he follows her. 

* * *

><p>Stepping back into the room, Daryl finds Carol has lain back down on the bottom bunk bed. She's covered her face with her hands and he can hear her sobbing. Sighing deeply, his heart breaking for her, he moves towards the bed and lies down next to her. Nudging her carefully, prying her hands from her face and touching her head, he forces her to look at him. Tears are running freely down her cheeks and the look in her eyes breaks his heart all over again. The pain therein is almost too much for him to handle, but he knows there's nothing else he can do now but hold her and let her cry. "C'mere" he murmurs and Carol falls willingly into his arms. The sobs wracks her body; she's wailing and her head burrows into his chest, dampening his shirt with her tears. Daryl isn't at all surprised to find that he's crying to. For Carol. For the girls she lost, all of them. For Beth. And for the walkers in that room. They stay like this until Carol is all out of tears and there's nothing left to do but let sleep take them.<p>

**Alright, we're closing in on Carol's secrets. They will be revealed soon, I promise. Hope you're all enjoying this story so far.**


	6. Trying

**Disclaimer: Still don't own anything involving TWD.**

**I just want to send out a thank you for all the reviews I've received and I'm very excited to see that my story keeps getting followers.**

**The reviews I get are the fuel to my fire on so many levels. I believe that to become a better writer, it's important to get all kinds of criticism and also to be able to handle said criticism. Input on what you like/don't like and why as well as suggestions on how to handle certain topics are always welcome. However, I also believe that for such criticism to work, it has to be constructive. Therefore, I was rather surprised about the guest comment I got on my story and I'd like to address said reviewer.**

**Dear Guest reviewer. I do appreciate feedback and I try to take suggestions from my readers into consideration. I don't, however, appreciate people slamming my writing for no apparent reason. I have not yet decided which way to go where Beth is concerned, but I find it very presumptive and quite frankly rather rude of you to assume that I'm going to, as you so eloquently put it, f**k it up. How can you possibly know that I'm going to ruin her character? I'm sorry that you don't seem to like the way other Caryl-writers portrait Beth, but that is no reason for you to assume that I'm going to do her injustice as well. And if the problem is that this is a Caryl-story and not a Bethyl one, then what are you doing here reading Caryl-stories? Furthermore, if you do have an input on how you think Beth's character should be portrayed, then by all means, let me know. Tell me how you think I should describe her. Because that really is of much more use to me than to be criticized for writing I have yet to put in print. So please, send me some constructive suggestions in my inbox here on and I'll be sure to take it into consideration and to send a reply. **

**As for Beth, I'm not really sure yet how her role in the story will develop. She's in the story obviously, but whether to keep her alive or not remains to be seen. I suppose it depends entirely on where my writing takes me. The way I'll portrait her character will be based on what I've learned about her from the show, i. e. my own interpretations. If someone's not happy about the way things turn out, I'm sorry, but as the writer of this story, it is my prerogative to take the plot in any direction I please. But, like I said, I'm always interested in feedback, so if anyone has a thought about what to do about Beth's role in my story, do not hesitate to message me and let me know your thoughts. **

**Sorry about the long side-track, people! On with the story!  
><strong>

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><p><strong>5. Trying<strong>

When Carol wakes in the morning, Daryl's gone. Feeling a bit disoriented, she forgets where she is just for a moment, and then it all comes rushing back to her. The familiar feeling of nausea tears into her as she remembers their discovery last night – the child walker. Throwing herself out of the bed, she searches for something to throw up in and notices a trash can, which she empties the contents of her stomach in. Kneeling on the floor, she leans over the container, inhaling with little gasps, waiting for round two of her morning sickness. But this time, it never comes. Carol thinks to herself that maybe this is a sign of the morning sickness wearing off. Looking up and out the window, she notices smoke rising close by. Getting up from the floor and peering out the window pane, she immediately spots the source of the smoke. A soft smile graces her lips. "_Damn it Daryl. Why do you make it so hard to walk away?_"

Even though the crackling from the pyre is loud in his ears, Daryl still hear her steps in the corridor and then as she steps outside. He places the smallest body in the fire and takes a step back, watching the woman and child burning. He feels Carol sidling up to him, feels her touch on the back of his hand. "Thank you", she says. Her voice is like a soothing balm to his wounded soul. Hearing her thanking him, he picks up on the gratitude there. He thinks he understands what this means to her. No, he knows what it means. If he can prevent her from ever seeing another child dying or having to take another life of someone dying, then he will. Not being able to reply, not trusting his own voice, he simple nods and holds her hand in his. They stand there together, watching the fire consuming the bodies of what once was a family.

* * *

><p>Backtracking to their room, Daryl rummages through his pack and finds some jerky and some water. They eat their breakfast in silence, neither one seeming willing to break it. Daryl notices the smell in the room, but says nothing about it. Carol's fidgeting with the hem of her shirt and he can tell she's nervous. He supposes she's scared he's going to bring up the subject of why their entire room smells like vomit, but decides against it. She's not ready, not after what just happened. Instead, he opts on something "safer" to talk about.<p>

"So, what is this place then?"

Carol takes a moment to reply, trying to not let her relief show on her face. She'd expected a different question. "It was a shelter, for abused women and children. I came here once. Stayed for a day and a half until I went crawling back to Ed". Her last words had a bitter tinge to them. "I was scared of being alone, scared of trying to make it on my own. And some part of me still wanted Sophia to have a father. So I went back. I wish… God I wish I could have been stronger for my daughter and for myself. If only…"

Daryl reached out a hand and rested it on her arm. "Ya can't think like that Carol. I'm sure ya tried. Ya were a good mother. I saw the way you were with her. I know ya tried. And…" he hesitated for a second, feeling a bit awkward for saying it, but it had to be said, "and I know what it's like ta be scared".

Carol looked at him then, her lips turned up in the smallest hint of a smile. What had it taken Daryl to say those words? To admit that to her, to himself? She placed her other hand on top of his hand on her arm. "I know I'm a different person now than I was then. But I'm still scared Daryl".

"Yeah, but ya've made a new start since then. Ya can do it again. I meant what I said Carol. We get to start over".

Casting down her eyes, Carol looked at their hands, her own drawing circles on the back of his hand. "I don't know if I can Daryl. Too much has happened."

Drawing his hand away, a flicker of hurt passing over Daryl's eyes, he sighed. That was it then. Their love wasn't enough. Then she spoke again. "But I want to try. With you".

Lifting his chin, he stared at her face and he believe her. He saw the fear lingering in her eyes. She might yet try to run. But he was going to be there with her every step of the way to show her that they still had a chance.

"Then we will. After we've found Beth and got her back to her sister, you and I will start over. We'll tell each other about everything that happened on the road and then our slates will be wiped clean. No more secrets, no more hurt and shame. Alright?"

Carol nodded, not trusting her voice right now. He might say that now, but would he be able to hold true to those words when he found out about the girls? Would he really be able to trust her after that? She supposed that would remain to be seen. But she was starting to realize that no matter how many times she tried to run from Daryl Dixon, she'd fail every time.

* * *

><p>They were back on the streets of Atlanta again. After breakfast, Daryl had suggested they get to a high building, to scope out the city looking for signs of the cross car. They'd just spotted a sky bridge leading to a high building. But their way was blocked by walkers. Taking off his pack, Daryl opened it up and drew out something that looked like a notepad. Using his lighter to set it on fire, he throws it in the other direction of the walkers, hoping to distract them. Succeeding with his goal, he slips round the corner and up the stairs to the sky bridge, Carol picking up his pack and following him.<p>

Up there they find the bridge littered with tents, walkers trapped inside. They step carefully and swiftly round the tents, reaching the other side. Trying different doors, they soon find one that's unlocked and they step into a lavishly decorated office room with wide windows. The view is of downtown Atlanta. Stepping towards the window, neither of them are able to do anything but stare at the scene in front of them. A giant urban graveyard. Burnt out buildings, abandoned cars, not a life in sight except the odd walker they can spot from here. This is what the world is like now. Endless graveyards in between acres and acres of forests and fields. All dead, all lost. How are they supposed to find hope when this is what life is like now? What's the point of going on? Glancing at Daryl, the dull aching of dread in the pit of her stomach eases some. At least she still has him. There's still good people willing to fight for the ones they care about, the ones that they love. It's damn hard and it's risky, but it's worth it, she thinks. She's just not sure if _she's_ worth it. Deciding to take a leap, she turns her head towards him.

"Why haven't you asked about what happened to the girls?"

Not looking at her, but still out the window, he replies, "I know what happened. They ain't here". Picking up a rifle scope (she hadn't even noticed he had it in his hand) he looks out at something, then gives her the scope. "Look there" he says and points. She aims the scope to where he's pointing and sees what he's after. A white van with crosses painted on the back windows.

"Looks like it's been there a while".

"Yeah, but it's our best chance at finding anything that could lead us to where Beth is".

Carol nods and hands the scope back to Daryl. "You know" she says, not daring to meet his eye, "it was much worse than that, with the girls".

"How can it be worse than them dying?"

"It just was". Carol turns away and leaves the room. Daryl takes one last look out the window and then he follows her.

* * *

><p>Up until now, they'd been pretty lucky. They hadn't run into anyone and they hadn't really had any trouble with walkers. Therefore, what happens next comes as a surprise. Carol has squeeze her way back onto the sky bridge, pushing her rifle out first. When Daryl's squeezed through, he notices Carol standing quite still, like she's unable to move. Tilting his head upwards, he sees why. A kid, in his late teens by the look of it, is standing in front of them, pointing Carol's rifle at them. Holding up his hands, Daryl glances at Carol and sees that she's doing the same. The kid looks scared and he thinks that if he only treads carefully, he can get them out of this.<p>

"Come on now, don't do nothin' stupid" Daryl says to the kid. "We don't want any trouble but we need that rifle".

"Yeah, well so do I. There's two of you and you look like you'll do alright anyway, you look tough. Now hand over that crossbow and no one has to get hurt".

The kid doesn't look like he knows how to shoot the rifle, but he does look scared, and scared people could easily do stupid things.

"Sorry, we can't do that" Daryl says. "We need it".

"I need it more. I need to protect myself from them. Now hand over the crossbow!"

Daryl's mind is spinning like a clockwork, trying to find a way out of their situation. He doesn't know who them is that the kid's talking about, but he assumes he means walkers. Sending Carol another glance, he can see that she's lowered her hands somewhat, no doubt at the ready to reach for her gun. But she'd never make it and the last thing they need is for her to get hurt. There's not much of a choice, he realizes. They have to hand over the crossbow, or… there's one more thing he could try, but Carol won't like it, not at all. But it's the best chance they have of getting out of there alive and with their weapons in tow. Taking a deep breath, Daryl looks back to their attacker.

"Listen kid, I'm sure you need weapons and I'm willing to give you the rifle. But you can't have the crossbow. We need more weapons than knives and a gun".

"I'm sure you'd get by just fine with just that. Like I said, you look tough".

"Yeah, we are tough. But we need more than that. We need everything we can get our hands on for protection. You see, my woman here… she's pregnant".

* * *

><p><strong>Oh no, cliff hanger! I'll update as soon as possible people. And by the way, I know I might be a bit off on Daryl's accent. I'm trying, but I'm not very familiar with American accents, least of all southern accents. I normally write in British English, so this is all new to me. Hope I'm doing alright though. Don't forget to review.<strong>


	7. Revelations

**Disclaimer: As always, I don't own the world of TWD, just borrowing its characters for my story.**

**Thank you for the reviews and my story is still getting followers, which I'm ever so happy about. It really boosts my confidence. Okay, so I left you guys with a cliffhanger. Let's see how Carol reacts to Daryl's announcement to Noah.**

* * *

><p><strong>6. Revelations<strong>

"_You see, my woman here… she's pregnant"._

She couldn't help the gasp of pure shock that slipped out of her mouth. Carol almost didn't believe what she was hearing. He knew?! And this was how he chose to let her know that he knew? Or maybe he was just bluffing to trick the kid into giving up the crossbow? Daryl turned his head then. He could see the question in her eyes, staring back at him. She looked beyond terrified but he knew what she was asking. Did he really know about the baby? An almost imperceptible nod from him told her what she needed to know. This was not just a ruse, he really did know. Both Carol and Daryl turned their gaze back to the kid. The poor guy's eyes were darting back and forth, looking confused and for the first time he seemed to not know what to do. He'd lowered the rifle a bit. Did he believe them?

"Prove it!" the kid said, the nervousness evident in his tone of voice. "If you're telling the truth and you're not just trying to keep the weapon, then prove it!"

Daryl swore under his breath. How were they supposed to prove it? They couldn't, could they? That's when he heard Carol speak.

"Okay. I'll prove it to you, but I'll have to lower my arms to do that. Is that alright?"

The kid nodded his approval and Carol lowered her hands to the hem of her shirt. Daryl watches with amazement as she grabs hold of the sides of her shirt and pulls it back so that the fabric's pulled taut against her stomach. And now he can clearly see a small bump pushing out. He knew he'd felt something when he'd hugged her in the forest, after Terminus, but he'd been so overcome with emotion that he'd thought nothing of it at the time. But after what Tyreese had told him, it suddenly made sense. When he'd told the kid that Carol was pregnant, he'd taken a risk, as he hadn't been one hundred percent sure, but it was the only thing that fit into the puzzle Carol had laid out for him. And here it was, proof that he'd been right. Daryl saw tears brimming in Carol's eyes and he felt his own eyes tear up. Suddenly he couldn't stop the smile that grazed his lips. Not just the usual smirk, but a full out broad smile. He and Carol were going to have a baby. A tear slipped down Carol's cheek and she returned his smile. God, what a pair they were.

Daryl turned back to the kid. "Proof enough for ya?"

"Yeah" the kid said, nodding. "Alright, you can keep the crossbow, but I'm taking the rifle. I'm sorry I have to do this, but I need protection. I can't let them take me, not again".

This statement confused Daryl and was about to ask the kid what he meant, when the kid spoke up.

"I'm getting out of here now. Don't try and follow me. I won't hesitate to shoot, even if she's pregnant".

* * *

><p>They watched the kid backing away, swerving in between the tents. When he reached the farthest end, he turned and ran out the door. The minute he was out of sight, Daryl walked up to Carol and took her in his arms. Carol clung to him and she finally let go of the tears that she'd been trying to hold in. Daryl felt his own tears spilling out. Carol was shaking in his arms and he could hear her mumbling something against the crook of his neck. She was begging him for his forgiveness.<p>

"I'm sorry Daryl, I'm so s-sorry. I d-didn't know how to tell you and I was scared. You don't know… I didn't think… please, I'm so sorry…"

"Hey, hey, it's okay. Sssch, it's alright. You have nothing to be sorry for". Daryl backed up and placed his hands on either side of her face, forcing her to look at him. "Whatever's going on, whatever's happened, we'll get through it, okay?"

Carol searched his eyes. She wanted to believe him, so bad. "You don't understand" she said. "You don't know what I've done. The girls… you don't know. I'm tainted Daryl, I'm no good, this baby won't stand a chance".

"What are you saying Carol? Ya know that's not true!"

"It is. I- I killed Lizzie".

"What?!"

"I- I- don't…" Carol couldn't go on. She broke down in sobs all over again. Daryl pulled her against his chest, rocking her in his arms. Finally, he was beginning to understand that what had happened with the girls was a whole different kind of horrible than he originally thought. He needed to get her calmed down and find out everything that happened after Rick abandoned her.

"Hey, come on. Let's go back to that room and you can tell me all about what happened".

"But, the van..?"

"Ya're more important Carol. That van ain't goin' nowhere and you need to get this off your chest. Come on now".

* * *

><p>Squeezing back through the door, they return to the room with the panorama window. Daryl sits Carol down on the sofa before he searches through his pack for some water. He finds the bottle he's looking for and gives it to Carol. "Drink" he says. "Ya know ya need it".<p>

Complying, Carol takes a couple of gulps and hands it back. Daryl sits down next to her and takes her hand, squeezing it slightly. He says nothing, waiting for her to start. She looks lost and just for a moment it's not a grown woman sitting in front of him, but a scared little girl. Then she starts talking and the vision is gone.

"After Rick left me, I drove around for a bit. Found an office building that I stayed in. Thought I could hang out there for a bit, while I figured out what to do. If I should go back or wait for you to find me. Either way, I wasn't going to stay there for long. I never intended on letting you go Daryl. I just didn't know how to approach the situation".

"Why didn't you tell Rick about the baby? He'd never have kicked you out if he'd known".

"Hadn't he? I'm not so sure. Anyway, I didn't see the point. He wouldn't have believed me anyway. I had no idea he was going to leave me until the very last minute of our run and telling him about the baby… he'd just have thought I was trying to get back to the prison".

Daryl nodded. She was right. "I would have come for you Carol. When Rick told me, I was so mad. I was going to confront Tyreese, let him know and see how he'd react. And then I'd play it by ear after that. Either bring you back or leave with you. But I never got that far".

"Yeah. I saw the smoke you know. And I went back, but I was too late. As I stepped out of the car, I saw Tyreese escaping with the girls and I followed them. I was scared he'd found out, but he didn't seem to know, he seemed relieved to see me when I found them. As guilty as I felt, I pulled it together for the girls. We stuck together, following the tracks, not really knowing where to go. We found a small grove. It was nice. We thought of staying there for a while".

She paused, a sad look passing over her features.

"I thought about finding you of course, but I didn't know where to start looking. The grove was a good place to rest and to find our bearings, figure out what to do. Tyreese found out about the baby pretty soon. I told him, saw no point in hiding it, as long as he didn't tell Mika and Lizzie. I didn't think they needed to know. Turns out that was the least of my worries".

"What happened with Lizzie, Carol?"

Looking up at Daryl with tear filled eyes, Carol barely withheld a sob.

"I should have seen it. Should have realized that something wasn't right. I found her outside playing with a walker".

"Playing with it?"

"She was playing catch with it. I killed it and she got furious with me, said I didn't understand. I should have seen it then, but I didn't. She thought the walkers were just sick people, that they weren't dangerous. I don't think she was right in her mind Daryl. I think that she'd been sick even before all this".

The tears were falling freely now and she didn't even try to stop them. She couldn't bear to look at Daryl's face, so she stared at her own hands instead, at his hand holding hers.

"We only left them alone for a moment. We'd gone to get some water and when we came back, Mika was dead. Lizzie had killed her". Daryl let out a small gasp at this. "She wanted her sister to turn, wanted to show us that there wasn't anything dangerous with her. She said she was going to do Judith next. Tyreese got her inside and I made sure that Mika didn't turn. We didn't know what to do Daryl" she said and looked him straight in the eye.

"We couldn't keep her with us, she might try to hurt Judith again. And we couldn't let her loose. I didn't have a choice Daryl".

"But it shouldn't have been you! Tyreese should have done it!"

"He- he wasn't strong enough Daryl. He doesn't have a bad bone in his body, he couldn't do it".

"Doesn't make it right. Shouldn't have been you".

"But I'm the one that did it. Do you see now Daryl, why I shouldn't be this baby's mother? I loose every child put into my care. Sophia, Mika, Lizzie. They're all gone and it's my fault!"

"No!" Daryl said with such force that Carol jumped back a bit on the sofa. He grabbed hold of her arms and moved close to her face. "It's not your fault, what happened with those girls. You didn't know Lizzie was sick. And Sophia was nowhere near your fault. If anything, it was my fault…"

"Oh Daryl, how was it your fault? You didn't lose her".

"And neither did you. She ran from a walker and what happened after that was nature's cruel invention. But I promised ya I'd find her for ya and I didn't. Still hurts when I think about it. That's why I gotta find Beth. She was in my care, and I lost her, so it's my job ta get her back".

"Daryl…" Carol touched his cheek and caressed it, moving up to smooth down his hair. Daryl leaned into her touch, closing her eyes for a moment.

"What a pair we are, huh?"

Opening his eyes again, he stared into hers and he felt like he was staring into her soul right then. Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her, a soft yet passionate kiss filled with everything he felt for this woman in front of him. Pulling back, he saw her eyes were closed, tears sliding down her cheeks. He wiped them away with his thumbs and she opened her eyes, looking back at him.

"Listen to me, Carol. You are not tainted or cursed or whatever it is you think about yourself. You are a strong, gentle and caring woman who's not afraid to do what needs to be done to protect the ones she loves. Our baby will do just fine with you as its mother. Ya kept Judith safe, didn't ya? I know ya'll do the same for out child. Trust me on this".

Carol nodded and smiled. "I trust you and I believe you. And if I do slip up…"

"Ya won't!"

"But if I do, then I know you'll be there to protect him or her. I love you Daryl and I promise I'll stop trying to run away from you. I belong with you Daryl Dixon".

She kissed him and Daryl finally felt that spark that had been missing from his woman. The woman he fell in love with, she was back and she was here with him. He'd be damned if he ever let her go again.

Pulling away from the kiss, Daryl hugged her and whispered in her ear: "I love ya Carol. I know I ain't said it before but I do and I'll make sure I tell ya all the time from now on. I love ya". He could feel Carol smiling against the side of his face. Holding on to her for another minute, he reluctantly let her go and sighed.

"When we get out of here, it's you and I and I don't care who knows. But first we gotta find Beth. What do ya say, are ya ready to take a look at that van?"

Standing up, Carol held out a hand for Daryl to take. "I'm ready. Lead the way, Mr. Dixon".

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><p><strong>This was hard to write, but now it's all out there, no more secrets. But their hardship's not over yet. Stay tuned for more chapters. I'm updating as fast as I can. Reviews are gold! <strong>


	8. Starting and stopping

**Disclaimer: As always, I don't own the world of TWD, just borrowing its characters for my story.**

**I want to send out a huge thank you to all my reviewers! Not only am I happy about your kind words, but also about the fact that you all take the time to tell me what you like about my story. And I'm still getting followers, yay! I know I haven't been very fast with an update and I'm very sorry. First things were crazy at work and then I got ill, so all in all I didn't have much energy to write. But now I'm back and I hope I'll be able to update a more speedily from now on. So, on with the next chapter. And yes, we have reached the van scene. Will it go down the same way as on the show? Read on to find out!**

**7. Starting and stopping**

"_Fuck, fuck, fuck!" _That was the last thought going through Daryl's head as the van started tipping over. Why did he always land them in shitty fucked up situations like this one? Carol should never have gone with him to check out the van. But still he'd let her, cause he'd just got her back, not just in body but finally in soul to. _His_ Carol was with him again and he'd be damned if he let her out of his sight ever again. So they'd both gone to look for clues in the van. That's when it'd all gone to hell. 

* * *

><p>Fifteen minutes after they'd made their way down from the sky bridge, Daryl and Carol reached the van. Managing to escape walkers on their way there was nothing but pure luck. Still, there seemed to be more of them in this area and both Daryl and Carol knew they had to work fast when looking for clues. He'd gone in first, in case there were walkers inside. The van's interior didn't contain much, by the look of it, but he carefully, so as not to disturb the ill-placed vehicle, moved to the front seat, looking for anything that might tell them where Beth was. He heard Carol tell him that walkers were moving towards them and he felt the van jiggle as she stepped inside as well. Glancing backwards, he saw her holding her gun at the ready, peering out through the windows. Daryl groaned. There were plenty of papers and such up front, but none of them held any information on where the van might have come from.<p>

Suddenly Carol spoke up again, this time with concern evident in her voice.

"There's more coming. We're going to have to fight through".

Turning to his left, Daryl saw walkers approaching from that side to. "Yeah, I see 'em" he said grimly.

Leaving the front seat and joining Carol, Daryl notices a stretcher lying on the floor. Carol tells him that they need to go, and he knows that they do, but he just needs to check out that stretcher. If they can find out where Beth's been taken, if he can bring the girl back to her sister, then that fresh start he's been talking about can really begin. For all of them. So he checks the stretcher over, even though he knows they need to get the hell out of there. He finds nothing except the letters G. M.

"G. M. Is that a hospital?"

"Grady Memorial maybe" Carol says hurriedly as she gets out of the van, Daryl following behind her.

The walkers close in on them the moment they step outside. Daryl fires a bolt into the head of a couple of the ones closes to him, then draws his knife and stabs a few others. Carol's shooting as many as she can, but they both know the gun doesn't have many bullets. The walkers are still closing in on them and Daryl realize that there's no way out; they're not going to be able to fight through.

"Daryl!" Carol shouts, while retreating backwards into the van again.

"Go, go, go!" he yells at her, while fighting off the walkers closest to him. He heaves himself onto the back ledge of the van, grabs on to the top and while lifting himself up and swinging out, he manages to kick away the body of a longhaired guy who seemed to have had a bad fashion sense while still alive. The walker stumbles into the other geeks around him, giving Daryl time to close the door. As soon as the doors shut, he can hear the reanimated bodies outside clawing at the van, pressing up against it. The horror rips into Daryl as he realize that they're trapped and that if the walkers keep pushing, the vehicle is going to fall of the ledge.

Carol seems to have come to the same conclusion as she frantically searches the van with her eyes and asks "Anything we can use?"

"Nothin' but what we got" he tells her and that won't help one bit. There's only one thing they can do.

Moving forward, Daryl gets in the driver's seat and Carol, though clearly frightened, catches on immediately to what he's thinking and gets in the passenger's seat. He tells her to buckle up while doing the same himself. Carol fumbles with the belt, looking every bit as scared as he's actually feeling, but a second later he hears the click and knows she's got the belt on. The van starts tipping over, as the walkers are building up around the van, putting more pressure on it. Daryl can hear Carol gasping for breath, her fear so clear and he understands, he's feeling it to. He knows, and she knows, that they're going to fall. He thinks about the baby, _their_ baby, and what might happen when the van falls off the bridge. _What the fuck was he thinking, bringing Carol up here?_ _Everything's going to hell and it's all his fault. Fuck, fuck, fuck!_

Bracing himself against the dashboard, waiting for the van to drop, Carol's hand suddenly slams on top of his. He turns to her and he can see the tears threatening to fall from her eyes. He can see how scared she looks. Not twenty minutes earlier he'd told her that he loves her and now he can't seem to get the words out. These could be their last moments together and all his brain and mouth can come up with is "You hold on!"

But it seems to be enough for Carol, because she gives a slight nod and then she leans back against the seat, closing her eyes and she holds on to the seat for dear life. Daryl's own grip is hard and he to closes his eyes as the van finally can't take the pressure from the walkers pushing up against it, and it drops.

* * *

><p>Miraculously they land on the wheels. The impact is hard and even though they've held on as tightly as possible, they're still shaken about as the van crashes into the ground. It takes them a couple of moments to react, to catch their bearings. Daryl slowly lifts his head from the now punctured air bag, letting out a groan. He can't believe he came out of that fall unharmed. Turning to Carol, searching her for any kind of injuries, but seeing none. She smiles and softly whispers "We're okay". A smile touches her lips but he needs to know that she really is just that, okay.<p>

"Ya sure?"

"Think so"

A walker comes crashing into their wind shield, startling them. They hear more falling down on them from above. They wait, until they no longer hear the sound of objects hitting the van, then they get out of the van. Carol's struggling it seems and Daryl realize that she's not entirely okay. As she walks around the van towards him, he can see that she's limping and her right arm looks a bit slack. Reaching for her, he throws her left arm around his neck and supporting her, they start to move away from the wreckage, back towards the city.

"Where are ya hurt?" he asks her as they walk.

"My right side's a bit banged up, but I'm okay. I've had worse, I'll be fine". She tries to sound reassuring, but the tone of her voice contradicts her. Maybe that's why his own voice shakes when he asks the next question.

"A-and the baby? Ya think it's alright?"

Carol stops, just for a second, as if the check, to see if things seem fine, then she moves forward again.

"Yeah, I think everything's okay. Heaven knows it shouldn't be, we shouldn't be, that fall…"

"Want me ta carry ya?"

She stops again and turns to look at him. Worry is etched all over his face and her heart swells at his concern. Always thinking of her first.

"Thank you for offering Daryl, but I think I'll manage to walk. With your help, of course" she adds and shoots him a smile that momentarily wipes off the worry.

"Alright, but I ain't askin' again" he replies playfully and Carol lets out a snort as they start walking again. "Can't be startin' an' stoppin' all the time" he adds.

"No?" she asks. "I thought that's what we did best" she snickers, feeling happy that despite everything that's happened, they can still joke around like old times.

"Yeah, well, we're done with that, aren't we?"

"Yes, Daryl. Yes we are".

They fall into a comfortable silence after that, moving back into the city, seeking out the nearest safest looking building to rest up in.

**Alright, I'm ending this chapter here, as I think it's a good place to stop before the next one. I realize that this chapter's a bit of a filler really, but I had to have the van scene, didn't I? Also, it was necessary for things to come. Will Carol get hit by the car or not? Stay tuned for more chapters to find out. Reviews are gold!**


	9. Rising

**Disclaimer: As always, I don't own the world of TWD, just borrowing its characters for my story.**

**This chapter's a bit longer than the others and I think that the chapters will keep getting longer, but I want to really try to convey their feelings towards everything that's happening. Love and thanks to all of you who review, follow and favorite my story. Hope you enjoy this new chapter.**

**8. Rising **

It isn't until they've settled down in another fancy office building, that Carol allows herself to relax her body in order to see how hurt she really is. Rolling her injured arm, and wincing from the pain, she realizes that she's probably banged up a whole lot more than she first thought. Every limb aches as she moves, but there doesn't appear to be any internal injuries. Unconsciously Carol moves her hand to her stomach. Just a day ago she might not have been too upset if something did happen to the child in her womb. But that was before she knew that she had Daryl's support, before she knew that he didn't hate her for what happened to Mika and Lizzie. A tiny grain of self-doubt still lingers, but even if she somewhere in the future happens to be right about being an unfit mother, that doesn't mean that their child doesn't deserve a chance. Daryl would always be there for their baby and so would the rest of the group. Carol had finally accepted that loving Daryl and letting him love her, was worth the risk. Feeling around on her stomach, she still doesn't feel different than before and she really believes that everything is alright with the baby.

Daryl's rummaging through his pack for something and soon enough he produces a water bottle, handing it to Carol. She gives him a grateful smile and helps herself to a sizeable gulp. She can feel Daryl eyes roaming her form, scrutinizing her, looking at her as if she's about to implode and disappear before his very eyes. Carol sighs and screws the lid back on to the water bottle before she hands it back to Daryl.

"If your eyes were any more piercing I'd have holes all over me by now. You don't have to stare me down Daryl, I'm fine".

"Yeah, well, ya don't look fine ta me. Don't think I didn't see that pained look on yer face just now. Is it the baby?" he asks, voice laced with concern and… anger?

"No, everything seems fine. My whole body's really sore and I think my arm is in need of some wrapping, but I'll survive. I know you worry, Daryl, but I'm tougher than I look".

"I know ye are. Don't mean I don't gotta worry 'bout ya ass".

"I love you to, Pookie" Carol replies with a smile. Glancing out through the dirty window, she notices something.

"Daryl, look!" Daryl directs his gaze out the window and seems to notice the same thing as her.

"Cars with crosses. Ya think that's Grady?"

"I think so, looks like it's no more than three blocks away. What do you want to do?"

"Don't think you'll like what I want to do".

"I'm not staying here, Daryl" Carol replies calmly.

"Ya came along to check out the van and look where that brought us! I risked the life of our child just 'cause I didn't want to let ya out of my sight!"

There is was, the reason for his anger. How much would it take to make Daryl stop blaming himself for everything that happened to others?

"Daryl…"

"No Carol! Ya shouldn't have come. I know ya can take care o' yerself, should have stayed put and let me sort out the van myself!"

"And you still would have had to get in the van and you would have been alone when the van fell. Things could have turned out very differently than it did for us. What if you had been trapped and alone? No Daryl. I understand what you're saying, but that's not the way we do things. We do it together or not at all".

Daryl had nothing to say to that. He chewed on his thumb and stared out the window. He'd never stop blaming himself for every single thing that got her hurt, Carol realized, but maybe she could make him see that he could not control everything.

"When I was in the shelter with Sophia" Carol began, "I really wanted to start over, to have a new life without Ed. I just didn't know how to do it. So I let my fears get to me and I went back to him. After Ed died and I lost Sophia, the old Carol got burnt away. At the prison, I finally got to be who I always thought I should be. And then she got burned away".

Daryl stops chewing on his thumb and sits down with her. He reaches up to cup her cheek and he caresses the side of her face lightly with his chewed up thumb. The touch sends shivers down Carol's spine. The skin on his fingers are so rough, yet the touch is so soft.

"We ain't ashes Carol".

"I know that now. I used to think that everything now just consumes us; that this world is nothing more than surviving and that there's no place for living. I used to think that we don't get to save people anymore. But you saved me Daryl, more than once. Not two hours ago, you saved me from myself, from making one of the biggest mistakes I'd ever have made. I know you think that you didn't do right by me because of what just happened. I can guess you feel guilty for not looking for me after the prison fell. And I'm sure that you think Beth's disappearance is all on you. But none of that holds true".

Daryl cast down his eyes as she spoke, but Carol takes hold of his head and forces him to look at her. "You're a good man, Daryl Dixon. Everything you do has a purpose. You always give the most of yourself to the ones you love and care about. You need to stop beating yourself up over things that you have no control over. Okay?"

Daryl's completely still for a long stretch of time, during which Carol almost forgets to breathe, waiting for a response. And then he slowly nods and he wraps his arms around her, drawing her into a hug. Resting his chin in the crook of her neck, he murmurs: "Ya saved me to, ya know. More than once. Maybe who we were got burnt away, but we're strong enough to rise from the ashes".

"Yes. Together" Carol replies.

"Together" Daryl whispers back.

* * *

><p>They sit like that for a little while longer, just holding each other, relishing in the other's touch and warmth. Daryl is the first to withdraw.<p>

"If we're gonna check out that hospital we better move now while it's still light out. Ya keep behind me and stay alert, alright?"

"Alright Daryl" Carol complies.

The second after, loud gun shots are heard nearby. They both rise to their feet and slowly move towards the sound. Daryl's got his crossbow raised and Carol's got her gun. She checks it for bullets as they slowly navigate in the direction of where the gun shots came from. Daryl looks at her and then the gun. Two, Carol mouths back. Daryl nods and reaches out to move her behind him. Two bullets will not get them far, but fortunately for them, Carol's knife skills will. In a deserted hallway they find a walker, dead from a head shot wound. The blood on the ground looks fresh. Moving on, a low growling reaches their ears. The growling grows louder and now they can hear the pants and sobs from someone human. Rounding a corner, they come upon a worrisome scene. The kid who threatened them earlier is pushing up against a bookshelf, attempting to block a walker trying to get through a door. The rifle he took is thrown on the floor, most likely out of bullets. The kid spots them and there's panic in both his eyes and his voice when he reaches out to them.

"It's you! Please, help me! You can have your rifle back, just please help me! I have to get out of here!"

Daryl and Carol look at each other. This kid threatened them, told them he wouldn't hesitate to shoot. Why should they help him? And yet, that's not the kind of people they are, are they?

The bookcase started sliding back as the walker pushed harder and the kid's grip was slipping. His right foot points out to the side in a funny angle. Most likely he's hurt and Carol realize that he won't be able to hold on much longer. She looks at Daryl, begging him with her eyes.

"He's just a kid Daryl".

Daryl does nothing for a moment. He seems to be pondering on the whole thing; on whether the kid deserves his help or not. But one more pleading look from Carol is all it takes. With a sigh, he raises his crossbow and hits the walker in the head. The kid immediately lets go of the bookcase and drops to the floor. He's breathing heavily, gasping out small thank you-s to the pair. Walking over, Carol stoops down and offers the kid a hand. He takes it and she pulls him up to a standing position. He looks at her with such gratefulness that Carol almost feels embarrassed.

"Thank you. I- I know I don't deserve your help…"

"Yer right, ya don't" Daryl interjects but Carol shoots him down with a hard look.

"You're welcome" she replies. "What's your name?"

"Noah"

"Noah" Carol says and nods. "I'm Carol and that there's Daryl. We're heading to Grady Memorial. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that place, would you?"

"You don't wanna go there. That's why I'm trying to get away. It's run by a crazy police woman and her crew. They're not all bad, but they've got no choice but to follow her. I was in there, but I escaped, my friend helped me. Just wish she could have got out to".

"Ya were in there?" Daryl asks, suddenly interested in the kid.

"Yeah and I don't want to go back. I will have to though if I don't leave soon or the police will find me".

"Did ya see a blond girl in there?" Daryl asks eagerly.

"Beth?" Noah asks.

"Yeah, she's our friend. We've been trying to find her. Is she okay?"

"She's okay. Or at least she was when I left. She's the friend who helped me get out. If you're trying to get in there, you're gonna need more people than the two of you. And…"

Suddenly, police sirens can be heard from afar. Noah limps over to a window and looks out.

"They must have heard the gun shots. We've got to get out of here, come on, I know a place where we can hide".

He turns back towards them and starts to move away when he stops and stares at Carol. Daryl looks at Carol, both of them confused about his behavior.

"Noah? What's wrong?" Carol asks.

"Nothing's wrong, it's just that… you're bleeding" Noah says warily.

Carol immediately starts checking her head and arms, looking for the source of the bleeding. How could she not have noticed that she'd broken skin?

"Carol?" Daryl speaks her name and the fear and worry seeping into his voice turns her attention to him immediately. He says nothing, just nods and points with his crossbow towards her legs. Looking down, Carol understands why he sounds so afraid and a shock of horror runs through her as she sees the blood stain slowly forming in between her legs.

**Oh no, another cliff hanger. I know, I'm evil. I'll try to get another chapter up real soon. Reviews are gold!**


	10. Giving a chance

**Disclaimer: As always, I don't own the world of TWD, just borrowing its characters for my story.**

**Thank you to all of you who review and to all my readers; I'm still getting followers and favorites on my story, which is very humbling indeed. I would however like to ask those of you who review not to post any spoilers for the upcoming episodes, as I'm one episode behind. I live in Sweden and here the second part of season five began last Sunday (February 15****th****). This means that so far I've only seen episode nine and I'd rather not hear about what's happened in the upcoming episodes, as I'd like to see them myself first. **

**I know I haven't been as speedy with my update as I hoped I would be; this due to being swamped at work and my grandmother being ill. It's hard for me sometimes to find the time to write, but I will not abandon this story, I promise. **

**Alright, let's see what'll happen with baby Dixon, shall we?**

* * *

><p><strong>9. Giving a chance<strong>

Panic is flooding all of Carol's senses, as she touches her pants and finds her fingers stained with blood. _It's real_, she thinks. _Oh no, this can't be happening, not now. No, no, no, no_! Tears are clouding her sight and she feels herself having trouble breathing. She hears someone saying something and it takes her a moment to realize that it's she herself that's speaking.

"No, no, no, no! Not this baby to, no!"

Daryl grabs her hands and she looks up into his face, fear etched on his features as well.

"Carol, listen to me, it's gonna be okay. We just have to get out of here, and you'll be fine!"

"I'm sorry, Daryl" Carol manage to choke out. "I didn't think… wasn't in any pain, still isn't, I thought I was fine after the fall".

"I know, sweetheart, I know". Carol can hear that Daryl's trying to keep his voice calm, but his worry is seeping through despite his efforts.

"I hate to say this" Noah says, and both Carol and Daryl jump a little, having forgotten about the teenager for a moment, "but I think Grady is your best chance if you don't want to lose the baby".

Carol stares at Daryl, tears falling freely down her cheeks. Looking into her eyes, Daryl's heart almost breaks. She looks so scared. He's not seen that look on her face since she lost Sophia.

"Daryl…" Her voice is pleading and deep down Daryl knows the kid is right, but to go straight into the lion's den like that is risky.

"Please, I can't lose this baby to. I know I thought I didn't want this, but I do. Please…"

Daryl nods and relents. It's the only way. "Alright. Kid, can ya take us there".

Noah nods but doesn't move, looking a bit hesitant.

"What? What's wrong?" Daryl asks. "We're losing time here!"

"I can take you" Noah says, trepidation in his voice, "but I don't think they'll take the both of you".

"What do ya mean?"

"When they found my dad and me, they said they could only save one. They left my dad for dead. And I think they'd see you as a threat" nodding at Daryl. "You might be alive and healthy, but I wouldn't put it past them to kill you anyway. They only help those who are weak, they'd never let someone into the hospital if they were strong".

"Ya telling me I can't go with her? Well fuck that!" Daryl yelled. Noah was startled but didn't look away from Daryl.

"I left her once and I ain't leaving her again! We do things together or not at all" he yelled, echoing Carol's words from earlier. Suddenly Carol clutched at her stomach, as pain ripped through her and she nearly double over. Daryl caught her in time and held her up, fear pulsing through him yet again.

"Look at me woman, I'm here. Ain't going nowhere!"

"Daryl… I think you need to listen to Noah"

Daryl couldn't believe what he was hearing. She was the one who told him that they wouldn't split up and now she went and changed the rules all over again.

"No, we stay together. Ya said so yourself!"

"I know what I said, but we're running out of time! I need to get to the hospital if we're going to save our baby. If Noah thinks it best I go in alone, then I will".

"No!" Daryl screamed and grabbed Noah by the scruff of his neck and pushed him up against the wall. "Why don't ya want me to go with her? You a spy or something? Ya lying to us?!"

"No!" Noah spluttered, pushing back against Daryl, trying to keep him from grabbing his neck. "I really think they will kill you if you go with her. I've seen what they can do to people they think are a threat! Letting her go alone is her best chance. They will be here soon. If she just goes downstairs, their people will see her and pick her up. They'll try to save her, I promise!"

Another cramp went through Carol and she cried out. Daryl let go of Noah and turned back to her. Carol gasped, trying to breathe right and almost whimpered as she pleaded with Daryl once again.

"Please Daryl. Let me go to the hospital. Beth's there, she'll help me. It will be fine. You take Noah and go back to Rick. Get our people and then you can come back for me and Beth. Please. Trust me. Give our baby a chance".

Daryl stared into her eyes and he saw all of her pain and fear. He saw all the love she held for him, love he never thought anyone could ever feel for him. Making a decision, he nodded and a small smile cracked Carol's lips.

"Come on then" Daryl said gently and lifted his woman up in his arms. He carried her down the stairs, Noah limping behind him. When he reached the downstairs foyer, he set her down. She turned and Daryl leaned his forehead against hers. Carol touched her lips to his and he could feel wetness on his cheek. He wasn't at all surprise to realize it was his own tears. Leaning back he held the back of her head and looked into Carol's eyes.

"Ya go save our child. Stay safe woman. I love ya"

"Nine lives, remember? Love you to, Daryl. Go get Rick and then come back for me and Beth".

"I will, I promise. Go on now". Daryl nudged her and Carol limped out towards the street. Daryl and Noah hid in the shadows and watched as Carol stumbled forwards, clutching her stomach. They could hear a car approaching and soon enough one of the cross cars drove into sight and screeched to a halt as Carol waved her hand at them. Two policemen stepped out of the car and helped Carol get in. Then they were speeding away.

* * *

><p>Noah led Daryl to a back alley, where a white van was holed up. He told him that he'd seen it yesterday, but hadn't felt okay enough to drive it, what with his leg being busted up. Daryl searched it for keys and almost let out a sound of glee when he found them hiding in the glove compartment. Smirking as the engine roared to life, he drove away out of the city, heading back to Rick and the others. As they were driving, Noah chanced a look at Daryl and seemed to want to say something. Daryl glared at him, as if daring him to speak. Finding his courage, Noah spoke:<p>

"We can get her back. We can get Carol back and Beth to. Both of them".

"What's it gonna take?"

"A lot. They've got guns, people".

"So do we" Daryl says gruffly.

Silence settles between them as they're driving and Noah takes to looking out the window. Daryl keeps his eyes on the road and there's only one thought running through his mind. "_Hold on woman. I'm coming for ya_".

* * *

><p><strong>Next up, Carol's in Grady. Will the good doctor there be able to save the baby? Stay tuned for the next chapter. Reviews are gold (and remember, no spoilers!).<strong>


	11. Not an update - info to all my readers

**Hi everyone! I'm really sorry that I don't have a new chapter for you. I don't really like posting these kind of things, but I wanted to let you know the reason for my lack of update. As I mentioned in the latest chapter, my grandmother has been very ill. Sadly, she passed away three days ago and it's really hard for me to deal with. It was not totally unexpected, but it still grieves me enormously, as I was very close to my grandmother. As a result of this sad event, I haven't really been up for writing anything, but I hope that I will get into it again soon and hopefully I'll be able to use my writing as some form of therapy. I just wanted to let you guys know what's up and I promise that I'm not going to abandon this story. I have too many plans for Daryl and Carol to let my ideas go to waste. I just need some time to get a handle on my grieving. **

**Again, sorry for this not being a real chapter. A million thank you-s to all my reader, followers and to those of you who review! I can't tell you how much it means to me to get feedback from you all. Thank you and keep a look out for new chapters.**


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